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Grounds Keeper

    06/29/05+

 Please Remember where this little fish came from and as the name implies "Re-habilitation Center"  (not the little fishy part) All our fish have something drastically wrong with them and need help. Even with tender loving care and constant supervision, there is just barley an out side chance (next to impossible) that they will change in any way.

”Adopt a Little Fishy”
  Now is your chance to Adopt a Little fish for only $3.98 a year. That’s only 0.0109041 cents per day. This small donation will insure The Little Fishy Re-habilitation Center can continue on doing what we do. 
 Please note we are in no way affiliated with National Graphic Society, Martha Stewart or the United Way Bar & Grill. Any and all proceeds will be completely controlled by me (the founder of Little Fishy Re-habilitation and at no time will our pension plan be turned over to the government. All Proceeds will be spent in accordance with our Daly needs.
When you send this small donation we will e-mail you a photo of one of our little fish and a thank you certificate that you can proudly display to show your support for the "Re-habilitation Center”  (Preferred payment is cash of (4) $1.00 bills in an envelope with the extra four cents donated to our favorite charity) but checks and credit cards gladly excepted. Just “click here” to use Pro-Pay and Visa Card.
 The second option is to actually adopt one of these fish into your home for just $21.05 + shipping & handling ($3.95) You will receive the fish of your choice plus a numbered certificate of authenticity. Please note as stated before all our fish have problems (that’s why they are presently in the “Littlie Fishy Re-habilitation Center”) you should first consider if you have the time and ability to care for the adopted fish. Please realize that even with the best of care and proper surroundings the chance of your adopted fish changing in any way is very, very unlikely.
The third option is “Guarenteed Satisfaction” adoption plan, where we warrantee the adopted fish not to change in any way and if at any time after the first year you wish to exchange your fish for another one, you can return it for only $3.95 plus shipping & handling of  $21.05  (any one under the age of six should include a parents consent form with order)

”Truth in Advertisement”
 We applied for a truth in advertisement logo to display on our Web Site but were turned down every time. (We think there might be something fishy about the whole truth in advertisement organization.) I don’t see our Government or any politicians on their Black Ball list. Please write to your congressman and complain about this unjust treatment we are receiving. 

 "News Flash” Up Coming Field Trip planed for December. ”News Flash”         Note: Overcrowding
 Come January two of the rehabilitation fish will be taken to Hawaii to see how the other half live. Even though most Hawaiian fish are of the salt-water variety it has come to our attention that there are fresh water fish in Hawaii and we will visit some of them and the local beaches and nightlife. Attend a local wedding and meet with an employee of a large medical research center. Planed is a discussion on the feasibility of a retirement farm for retired medical research personal with certain skills. Donation’s badly needed for this important outing. Click her to donate to this worthy cause. “Click here”   
Thanks K.T. for donating room and board while we are on this field trip=(X)
 Still need cheap Plane tickets=(_) Cheap transportation on Island=(_) Scuba Instructor=(_) 
 Young Attractive Tour Guide=(never mind boss will do guiding)  Suntan lotion=(_) Small amount of pocket money=(_)
News Flash: New Problems with Field Trip has been brought to our attention. K.T. informed us "We Quote" ->"Bring blind folds for them so they don't have to watch us when we eat sushi!"  This could possibly be a huge set back for young impressionable minds.  
We thought problems like this only happened at Quantonomo.

“Security Issues
Please do not disclose any names or locations of or present facilities, employees, volunteers, or contributors
of this Re-habilitation Center.   As soon as one of our volunteers applies for our Home Land Security grant we
 will provide a secure premises for all employees and volunteers. (Were thinking of something like our local water treatment department. (Eight foot security fence with razor wire and closed circuit surveillance camera with push button coded gate opener) But at present we will continue on, unprotected, except for our own personal arsenal of weapons.( We are personally proud of or new 50 caliber hunting rifle with the armor piercing ammo.) 
Thanks “American Rifle Association” for protecting our right to bare arms.
 

“Government Lobbyist needed”
 Volunteers needed for this important job. All volunteers will be considered but we prefer ex Emron, Disney Land or Polaroid CEO’s as our lobbyist budget is quite small compared to the Pharmaceutical, Insurance and Government Contract companies, or any one else who retired with over 20 billion retirement fund. We have NO requirements concerning truthfulness or the ability to run a large company, So if you ran your company into bankruptcy or chapter 11 please feel free to apply. Our first concern is to totally ban all none water soluble glue used on plastic bottle labels.

”Age Discrimination Policy”
 Even though recent medical research has shown that the deterioration of memory cells starts at the age of 27 and then another lager decline around 60 years of age with a massive memory cell decline again in the late 70’s. We will continue to accept volunteers of all ages. If our Politicians and Supreme Court judges can keep drawing pay checks after senility sets in, then who are we to say you’re to old or dumb to hold office, I mean volunteer. We will continue to accept résumés even from retired Politicians, Judges and ex license bureau employees. Just because some one forgets every thing they once knew, is no reason they should retire and collect their government pension.

”Bad Smells”
 Many times around the Re-habilitation Center some one smells something awful and naturally the fish are always blamed first, only to later find they were completely innocent. The old saying that fish and house guest start to smell after several days is completely false. (at least the part about the fish)

  “Cloning”
 Our present position on cloning is we are against it. Coming soon are photos of suspected cloning gone bad.

“Hard Liquor” and Strong Spirits”
Many of our fish were previously around alcohol  and were found hanging around bars and night clubs before being used and discarded by there cliental. Many were once noted for there good taste and after only a short time in the bars and night club’s were completely used up and discarded like >>>
We thought being traded and sold in this way was a thing of the past. Be assured this still happens and you don’t have to visit the Barbary Coast to witness this

Note:  Even though many of these fish have bright multi coloring, similar to the fish found in Hawaii and the Caribbean Islands they are Not Salt Water Fish.  

This communication, including attachments, is for the exclusive use of addressee and may contain proprietary, confidential or privileged information. If you are not the intended recipient, any use, copying, disclosure, dissemination or distribution is strictly prohibited. If you are not the intended recipient, please notify the sender immediately by return email and delete this communication and destroy all copies, Wipe out your hard drive and move someplace where no one can every find you.

 Please keep all our little fish out of the direct sun, do not wash in salt water or dry in the microwave oven.
 
New Web Address coming soon "www.Lfishy.com"

Order Information: e-mail to  Little Fishy@vwHELP.com